this is a semi-primer I made on tumblr about a month ago, and I thought I'd post it here for safe keeping. and just in case anyone wants to discuss these fuckers with me, or inform me of anything I should add to this post, because I'm always updating it.
things you won't find here: shawsy and bollig's life histories, or any kind of discernable time line. you can find a brandon bollig primer here and an andrew shaw primer here.
things you will find here: shawsy and bollig being GROSS TOGETHER.
enjoy the disgusting-ness.
why yes that was a gif of brandon bollig rubbing andrew shaw's face. what a wonderful way to start this post off.
things you should know: brandon bollig likes to call shawsy his "little mutt" idefk what the fuck brandon you're so fucking weird it's great
okay 15 seconds into this video (it's brandon bollig micc'd up), bollig says to shawsy "where you going, you little mutt?" no really what the actual fuck
more pics of them being GROSS
they both like to pretend they are captains of boats
so in feb 2012, shawsy and bollig were called up from rockford to play for the blackhawks. andrew shaw talks about it in this interview, aka when the reporter mentions bollig's name he lights up like a fucking christmas tree and gets this huge smile on his face and talks about how much he looks up to bollig omg watch it's terrible
they tweet each other a disgusting amount no really it's horrifying. also it should be known that bollig retweets things like pictures of him and shaw with tags like #nhlbromance
wow banter much? literally I don't even flirt this much with boys.
we miss you andy what the fuck is this bollig, toy story? wow bye
THEY ALL FUCKING PLAY LASER TAG TOGETHER WOW I COULD WRITE NOVELS ABOUT ANDREW SHAW AND BRANDON BOLLIG SECRETLY MAKING OUT IN DARK CORNERS DURING LASER TAG GAMES
they also go to dinner together a lot with their teammates
I????????????? personally I want to know what happened when bollig went up to canada for a weekend... just saying.
#myhero #lovesit okay I think you guys are using hashtags as excuses to flirt no really wtf
oh also bollig instagrams pics of them laughing together
like... ok then
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE BUT IT LOOKS LIKE FLIRTING TO ME
HAND OVER THE MONEY WINKY FACE JESUS CHRIST. 'I HAVE YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU??? WOW BYE.
#gotoyourroom don't even speak to me
here's a fucking terrible one
"I think @shawz15er is too cute not to wear his"
"I think @shawz15er is too cute not to wear his"
"OH BRANDON :D"
I AM SO FUCKING DONE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD
PREPARE FOR THE FUCKING WORST
HERE WE GO
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU
OH WAIT I LIED IT ACTUALLY GETS EVEN FUCKING WORSE
ETA #1: OH HAHA JUST KIDDING SOMETHING EVEN WORSE HAPPENED
REMEMBER THAT TIME SHAWSY WORE BOLLIG'S SWEATSHIRT?
yes it really really happened on live tv
hah ahhAHha hAhAHAHA
ETA #2: so on 3/22/13, some of our good friends, specifically alyssa, attended the blackhawks practice in chicago and SHIT WENT DOWN. don't worry, alyssa took pics for us. basically:
LOOK AT SHAWSY'S FUCKING FACE JESUS CHRIST WHY
and then oh god you know what I'm just gonna copy/paste alyssa's account of what happened because she was THERE.
"toward the end of practice most of the players had left the ice, the young guys stayed out to shoot around, and Shawsy “tackled” Bollig to the ice (“tackled” because Bollig totally let him, and even pulled Shawsy on top of himself?). Shawsy just kind of laid on top of Bollig for a while before getting up and skating away. And Brandon? He stayed down on the ice even longer laughing his ass off, and crawled closer to the net and just sat there. No, I’m not okay, and no, I’m never going to get over it."
NEITHER ARE WE ALYSSA, NEITHER ARE WE.
ETA #3: so a cooking event with bollig happened today in chicago and some of our friends decided to attend. shenanigans obviously occured.
first of all here's a pic of brandon in an apron I mean who can't appreciate that
(pic from here)
I'm going to copy and paste Alyssa's account of what happened again because she was there she know's best really. why does alyssa get nice things and I don't that's the real question.
"A few minutes after 5PM, Brandon was introduced (by John Wiedeman from WGN), and he was immediately tasked with cooking a stir fry dish I wasn’t particularly interested in. As he cooked, he talked about having worked in a restaurant kitchen in St. Louis, how the Hawks are doing this season, his role as a fighter, and then he answered some fan questions. There was a hilarious story about having roomed with Bickell in the past. There was also a whole hell of a lot of talking about Andrew Shaw. What teammate do you hang out with the most? Andrew Shaw. What teammate is your favorite to chirp? Andrew Shaw. Andrew Shaw, Andrew Shaw, Andrew Shaw."
at this point I'm not even fucking surprised.
okay so for the next part of the story we need to back up a little. a couple months ago sam made this, which bollig actually retweeted on twitter because he's a fucking dumbass who likes to cause me pain.
[retweeted by brandon bollig more like retweeted by are you trying to ruin my life here]
sam then made a real life version of this valentine, which she brought to the event to have him sign, which prompted this:
"Sam asked how the picture [of Bollig giving Shawsy a piggy back ride] (which was in Chicago’s Redeye paper) came out. Had it been the photographer’s idea for the piggy-back pose? No, no, no. Brandon laughed and said “Well actually, the photoshoot was already over and Shawsy just jumped on my back.” They had no idea the photographer had taken the photo and were even more surprised that was the one they ran in the damn paper. (INever getting over it, nope.)"
so basically when we all thought the photographer told shaw to get on his back and shaw was all grumpy looking about it NOPE THAT WAS JUST THEIR CHOICE THEY CHOSE TO PARTICIPATE IN THAT BASICALLY FUCK MY LIFE I HATE EVERYTHING THE END.
until next time y'all, because I'm like 500% positive there will be a next time at this point...
some gifs from the 12-13 season because WHY NOT
this one is really upsetting:
look at their faces look at bollig touching his face I literally????????? can't do it.
oh look it's convention time
and then this fucking happened
and that's all for now kids.